How Not To Be an L.A. Asshole with Andrew Ti: Moving on Up

Every month, Andrew Ti, the guy behind Yo, Is This Racist?, will be bringing his advice dispensing talents to the pages of L.A. Taco. Send your questions to advice@lataco.com.

What’s up Assholes (that’s what we call fans of this column)! Like a true LA asshole, I am way late to the August column because I had a television project happening that made me very busy! But I’m here, and I’m going to help you be less of an LA Asshole!

"i live in a mostly mexican neighborhood, i myself am 3rd generation asian-american. my neighbors play loud banda music basically every weekend from around midday to 4am. i want to tell them to turn it down, am i the asshole or are they the assholes? ps my family has lived in this area, not exactly where I am, for like 30 years."
- amy

The LA Asshole move right now would be to get into some kind of passive aggressive war with your neighbors, maybe culminating in the involvement of the LAPD and then becoming the kind of person who loudly talks about how “Mexicans are loud… no, it’s true, I live in a Mexican neighborhood, so I can say that.”

Definitely don’t be that kind of asshole.

I’m about to say some shit that might not be fair, but is probably the only way you’re actually going to get out of this halfway happy: you gotta go over there and ask them to turn it down. It might not work, but then at least you get to say to yourself that they’re being assholes before you, I don’t know, soundproof your house or whatever.

Sometimes I'm hungry but i'm also too lazy to clean off my marmalade knife, should I just use it as is?
- darkpony

I know we’re in a drought or whatever, but it takes, like, 10 seconds to wash a knife if you do it right after you use it. Get into the habit of doing that, and you don’t have to be a Marmalade Crust Asshole.

i am wondering what advice you have for someone who moved here and wants to make more money. my job doesn’t pay well, but this town is hella expensive. I have a 4 year degree but currently the best job I’ve had is as a personal assistant. it’s very hard to “move up” in LA.
- Nicki

Not to get all New York Asshole on you, but it’s only moderately hard to “move up” in LA and this town is expensive, but, trust me, it could be worse. In fact, LA is actually one of the easiest big cities to be relatively broke in: there’s lots of free shit to do, including just being outside, the cheap food here is great, and our whole city's culture isn’t based on having to get consistently wasted enough to live with yourself because you’re a Finance Asshole (New York), or a Tech Asshole (San Francisco).

If you’re finding it that hard to survive here, it might be because you’re buying into a bunch of expensive LA Asshole stuff, like our wack-ass bar and club scene, our shitty status restaurants, whatever. Get that shit out of your life, enjoy what’s here, and get a second job if you really have to.

Thanks for enjoying this first round of LA Assholes with me! Send me email at advice@lataco.com and maybe you’ll get to be an asshole next month! For August, the Asshole Of The Month is the fucking sun, goddamn it’s hot outside.