Welcome to Pocho-Fornia, Chicharito. Here’s Everything You Need to Know About La Galaxy’s Shiniest Mexican Attacker

[dropcap size=big][/dropcap]ollowing an intense week of negotiations, near confirmations, and near cancellations, the LA Galaxy have finally secured striker Javier “Chicharito” Hernandez to its roster. The forever baby-faced, eternally optimistic attacker has agreed to a three-year contract where he will replace the Galaxy’s Zlatan Ibrahimovic as the team’s main attacker, goal-scorer, and celebrity face.

The 31-year-old Mexican international will arrive on the heels of a short and forgettable campaign at Spanish club Sevilla FC where he played second fiddle to Luuk De Jong. Still, fans will always remember him for what he accomplished at Club Deportivo Guadalajara, Manchester United, Real Madrid, and Bayer 04 Leverkusen (West Ham United FC...not so much!).

“I’m going to be playing,” said Chicharito in an interview with the Los Angeles Times. “That’s what I want in my life. People are going to say it was because I couldn’t make it [in Europe], but sometimes in football, there are things that are not in your hands. The last two years, the managers decided on giving confidence to other players rather than me.”

The signing is the latest in the Galaxy’s lengthy list of high-profile players since the team’s inception, especially of popular, high-profile foreign internationals. Chicharito’s name will soon be etched alongside those of Jorge Campos, Ibrahimovic, Steven Gerrard, Robbie Keane, and David Beckham.

The move to Los Angeles isn’t a surprising one for Chicharito as he has already broken numerous records here. It was here at the Memorial Coliseum that he tied the Mexican national team goal-scoring record of Cuauhtemoc Blanco (39 goals) in 2015 with a goal vs Ecuador (look at it closely and you’ll spy a certain LA Taco correspondent in the background). It was here that he lifted the CONCACAF Cup title months later at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena after scoring the first goal in a 3 - 2 victory over the USMNT. It was here in 2017 at the Coliseum, once again, that he became Mexico’s all-time leading goalscorer, surpassing the legend Jared Borgetti (46 goals), after scoring against Croatia.

“Javier has consistently scored goals in top leagues throughout the world and has been his country’s most successful player over the last decade,” said LA Galaxy General Manager Dennis te Kloese in a public statement. “We think he can be one of Major League Soccer’s best attacking threats and help our team in multiple ways. We are excited to bring Javier to Los Angeles and we look forward to his representing this city and our fans as a member of the LA Galaxy.”

Galaxy fans will certainly be rooting for Chicharito to break club records as the team continues to fight for its as-yet-elusive sixth MLS league title. The Galaxy’s Mexican fanbase will also be elated to see one of their most beloved players share the field fellow Mexican national team players and Galaxy teammates Jonathan Dos Santos and youth international Efraín Alvarez.

Chicharito will, however, want to avoid repeating the career move of national team teammate and former Galaxy player Giovani Dos Santos, elder brother of Jonathan. The elder Dos Santos arrived in July 2015 to massive fanfare but was later forced off the team in 2019 to more applause than when he arrived as he failed to live up to the hype that brought him to the team.

The move will also pit him against national squad teammate Carlos Vela of the crosstown rival, Los Angeles Football Club. The duo was once an attacking tandem during their days as part of Club Deportivo Guadalajara’s youth squad. Chicharito and Vela together lit up Russia during the 2018 World Cup as they both scored against South Korea during Mexico’s second group-stage match.

Besides his abilities as an athlete, Chicharito has also been active as a reality documentary star as one of the faces of the self-described normal life vlog “Naked Humans.” The vlog follows his life alongside his wife Sarah Kohan, their infant son Noah, and friends Diego Dreyfus and Niccolo de Zambiasi.

Come what may, Pocho-fornia is gonna pop with ChichaDios in town.