[dropcap size=big]S[/dropcap]hort-dicked men came out of the shadows in a huge way on Saturday, marching alongside their supporters in Downtown L.A. to demand an end to “small dong shame,” as first reported by TMZ.
This “Small Dong March” was organized by YouTube bros Chad and JT, whose antics in the past have found them handing out masks to easily triggered O.C. beachgoers and pitching San Clemente’s City Council on a monument for Paul Walker.
Standing on a moving boat, the duo invited everybody, including those with small dongs, not-small dongs, and no dongs alike, to partake in the march, advocating for acceptance and pride in whatever you may be packing.
The event claimed to be an earnest attempt at reducing the embarrassment men feel over their penis size, a global problem that could well be the cause behind such existential dick-measuring catastrophes as nuclear war, refusing to acknowledge you lost the 2020 U.S. presidential election, and dipshits driving giant trucks.
Still, that didn’t mean there weren’t giggles among the crowd and hilarity on display. Penile costumes, rhyming chants, and signs with slogans like “All Dongs Go to Heaven,” "My 4-Inch Frank is Dank!," and “In Solidarity with Shrimp Dicks,” were spotted among those showing actual small units and pushing to “End Small Dong Shame.”
In short… there was mirth, if not always girth.
Whether the march was another amusing viral stunt or the start of an actual movement remains to be seen. Though it could be a crucial step in avoiding the so-called “gender wars” reportedly rocking Korea due to women teasing men about the size of their schlongs.
The only certainty at this point may be that Gillette will be promptly canceled should this movement continue.
